Is it possible to love in all circumstances?
Loving your spouse in all circumstances , Overcoming difficult situations in the couple.
You entered life as a couple with great hopes and plans for happiness. You didn't expect to suffer so much!
Millions of couples struggle in hopeless marriages. But the story doesn't have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes: “I am certain that in every difficult marriage, one spouse can take positive steps that will change the emotional climate within the couple. »
This book will help you:
- identify and reject the myths that hold you captive;
- better understand your spouse’s behavior;
- take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and actions;
- make choices that will have a positive and lasting impact on you and your spouse.
Introduction
It was a Saturday and it was cold. I was in a suburb of Chicago giving my seminar focused on strengthening marriage. It was on this occasion that I met Maria for the first time. Earlier, I had given the audience a summary of my book Couple in Crisis . I encouraged each of the participants to take a copy to give to their friends who had experienced the tragedy of a breakup. Maria had bought the book and was holding it in her hands."Dr. Chapman, when will you write a book for me?" she asked. - What do you mean? – I'm sure this book will be useful for those who are already separated, she replied, but have you ever thought about people like me? My husband and I are not separated. We have been married for seventeen years. Neither of us is considering divorce; we have a strong faith, but our married life is dismal. We face difficulties that we have never been able to overcome. We sometimes argue, then make up, and things are pretty much okay for a few weeks. Then, it's the same story. We need help. Once we decided to seek help from a marriage counselor, but after a few therapy sessions, things didn't seem to have improved. So we devoured books about marriage, but they didn't address the kinds of issues we face. I'm sure there are other couples like us; They would certainly like to find happiness in their marriage, but they have not found the answers to their questions. »Since that conversation with Maria, I have written three more books, but I have never forgotten this distressed woman's question: "When will you write a book for me?" » I no longer had contact with her, and I don't know what happened to her marriage. But if I could cross her path again, I would say: “Maria, this book is for you. » For her and for the thousands of others who sincerely want their married life to proceed normally, but who have not yet found the remedy for their ills. Three reasons pushed me to write this book.
- Many people like Maria came to me during the seminars, and asked me for practical help in overcoming the obstacles that they and I considered harmful to the harmony of the couple. These are generally questions that we do not have time to address in seminars, difficulties that have been latent for years and which have very deep roots. If these issues are not resolved, they can destroy many couples.
- I still remember the struggles my wife and I experienced in the early years of our marriage. I remember very well the pain I felt after several months of trying to do what I thought was right, without results. A feeling of helplessness overwhelmed me then. One thought constantly nagged at me, that of having married someone with whom I would never achieve real intimacy. The difficulties were so great and my resources so limited that I did not even look for other approaches to the problems. However, there were solutions, and we ended up discovering them. Caroline and I have been married for more than thirty-five years now and we enjoy an intimacy that I never thought possible. The suffering is nothing more than a distant memory, but it inspires me to want to help those who are sincerely trying to get out of it, as was our case.
- I think about the steady stream of people who have come into my marriage counseling office over the past twenty-five years. Their problems? Alcoholism, verbal and physical violence, a spouse's infidelity, a spouse's tyrannical personality, rape suffered in childhood or adolescence, poor self-image; and again cases where one of the spouses is a workaholic, or an irresponsible person. One of the greatest rewards of being a counselor has been seeing these married people resolutely commit to conflict resolution, encourage each other in their efforts, and experience improved relationships. I am convinced that their story and their success deserve to be known to more people, because the decisions they made will be able to help and guide many other couples in their cases.